I just pynch a tree in the face
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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