I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
