they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
