u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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