Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize