I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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