maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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