She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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