You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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