You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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