I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I am naked and annoyed.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
