If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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