it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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