No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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