You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
