oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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