We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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