If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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