When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Randomize
