So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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