yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
