first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He has the fingertips of a God
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