So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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