just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
