he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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