Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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