Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You brought string cheese to the strip club
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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