am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
