Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
