once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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