I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
