Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I woke up under a house in Key West
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