I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You ruined the universe
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
