Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
