Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
