my mouth tastes like poor choices
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
