he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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