I'm eating all of the evidence.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
