So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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