i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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