So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
