my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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