Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
