I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
3 2 1 whiskey
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
