I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
