hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
