I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
