He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
