Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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