Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
