My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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