community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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