chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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