So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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