If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
