..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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