I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Drunk is not a location!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
