So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
