remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she smelled like a LAN party
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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