well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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